Mints that hurt my head

Not because of the flavour, but because they are smarter than I am. Nihilist mints have no flavour which means that they are not technically what they are; how can a mint be a mint if there is no mint? Again, my head hurts. If you want 60 non-minty non-mints, you can get them at Archie McPhee. I need to go lie down.